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TOAST TO GROOM'S FAMILY

(By the bride's father, replying to the groom's toast to I the bride's parents who are hosts, giving personal family marriage details.)

Thank you, Jonathan. As you know Maria is our only daughter, so this will be our only chance to stage such a lovely wedding. And we did not want to miss the opportunity of having such a wonderful day, complete with the white wedding car. When my parents' generation were marrying back in the 1920s not everyone had cars and the best man's responsibility was to organize transport for all the guests. After the ceremony the bridal couple rushed to the photographer's studio to have their portrait taken, before joining their guests who were waiting for the wedding meal. For each generation the circumstances are different. Now we can have a photographer visiting us to make a video, so that we can remember this magical day for the rest of our lives.

Pat and I married during the 1960's, as did Steven's parents, when wedding couples needed clothing coupons from all their relatives to make the wedding dress and wedding suits, which had to be of sensible material so that they could be worn again. Everybody saved all their food coupons for the wedding cake. Since you could not go abroad you honey mooned on the south coast at resorts such as the Bahamas where there was barbed wire on the beaches. Despite that, Pat and I had a wonderful wedding, and were very grateful that when other families were separated, we had the opportunity to be together. But I think you will understand why we do not regret staging a grand wedding for Maria and Jonathan.

For us this has been a second chance, our only chance, to enjoy a wedding with all the luxuries and trimmings, and all our family around us. We want Maria and John to enjoy the things we never had, not to take them

On a second or subsequent marriage it is frequently said that a wedding speech should make no reference to previous spouses, nor children of earlier marriages unless they are junior pages and need to be acknowledged and welcomed, or even the fact that either party has been married before. In theory you can use the usual wedding speeches, simply omitting any references to white weddings. However, rather than having the guests whispering conspiratorially amongst themselves the unmentionable secret that this is a second marriage, some speakers prefer a more direct and honest approach. This particularly applies where there is no question of a divorced previous spouse. It may be felt desirable to inform guests that one party was previously a devoted husband or wife, a widow or widower, who after years of loneliness should be congratulated on at last having found happiness again.