The Wedding Speech

Ladies and Gentleman

Good afternoon. My name is Tony and I am  the best man - not literally - just in title.

Firstly I would like to say a big thank you to you all for coming.  What was originally planned as a Registry Office wedding with two witnesses grabbed off the street has blossomed into a wonderful occasion and I know Lys and David are thrilled to bits to have so many friends here to share it with them.  

On behalf of Janet, the Matron of Honour I'd like to thank David for his kind words and I think everybody would agree that she looks lovely. Especially as she is my wife! I have to say she has done an excellent job this afternoon. And of course doesn't Lys look gorgeous. What a super dress. Lys you look lovely! David you are a lucky man!

I would also like to thank the Reverend Trisha Impy for a wonderful and very moving service.

Somebody more philosophical than me once said that being asked to be a best man is like being asked to snog the Queen mother - It's a great honour but no one really wants to do it.

When David asked me to be best man I was a little surprised. But on reflection it was logical. I've known David for 5 years, and based on his current age, that puts 60 plus years of stories into a locker that I can't open!

I have however managed to dig out one or two fact in Davids quite varied life.

He was born in Plymouth to military parents.

At the age of three and a half his parents moved to what is now Pakistan taking David with them. They remained there for 5 years.

Whilst there, amongst other things, David collected scrap metal for the war effort and became an Honourable Gleaner. He was so successful at this that he was later awarded the title of Very Honourable Gleaner. And he's still gleaning!

They returned back home to England in 1942.

He won a scholarship to a Grammar School, but his parents couldn't afford to send him to university and so David secured a job as an underground electrician in a coal mine. He worked at the mine for 9 years.

Eventually he obtained a job in Government Security until he retired.

He had already met Lys by this time and together they bought a small holding and lived "The Good Life" - just like the TV series.

Which brings us up to date.

Janet and I first met David and Lys in 1995 in India. We had all travelled there to view a Total Eclipse of the Sun. And I have fond memories of lending David moral support and in persuading him to venture out into the back streets of Varanasi (Benares). He was absolutely terrified of the Indian beggars!

Things have moved on since then and both Lys and David are now experience travellers have been back to India several times and listening to their adventures, it is now I who would need to hold David's hand.

Lys and David have been together for 13 years now and Janet and I have been gently suggesting that they tie the knot for some time now but David in particular is not one to be hurried. Anyone who has been in his car - a Citroen 2CV - will readily testify to that. But he gets there in the end and SAFELY.

And so it's been in their relationship but they've finally made it. Even their long lost cat has returned for the festivities.

I gather that David proposed to Lys whist they were in the kitchen. To celebrate this they later sat in the garden and had one or two brandies.

The next morning, Lys, feeling not quite 100%, couldn't remember if it had really happened or whether it had been a dream!

She therefore made David repeat his proposal to make sure.

He did make one stipulation however and that was that Lys should not wear a "big white wedding dress"

Today is a momentous day in the life of David and Lys, a millstone, sorry milestone in their life together! I did some research into historical events that happened today, and surprisingly I couldn't even find one, so today's event is right up there in the history books!

Before I make the toast, I have a few words of wisdom I'd like to pass on.

To Lys:  If you love something, set it free, If it comes back, it was, and always will be, yours.  If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, surfs the Web, takes your money, and never behaves as if you set it free in the first place, you either married it or gave birth to it.

To David: The key to a long and happy marriage it to remember those three little words; You're right dear!

I think that one thing David and Lys have learned over the last thirteen years is that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is be someone who can be loved.

Now will you all please stand and join me in a toast to the new bride and groom.  David and Lys, Mr and Mr Jackson, I wish you all the joy that marriage can bring, and also many many years of happiness.

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