The Grooms Speech
THANK YOU CHARLES. ITS A BIT LATE, TO WARN ME ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS
COOKING SKILLS. I WOULD SINCERELY LIKE TO THANK YOU AND PAM, FOR GIVING US
THIS WONDERFUL WEDDING, AND RECEPTION. ALSO FOR GIVING YOUR BLESSING, FOR ME TO MARRY,
YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER, LINDA.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK MY PARENTS, FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTION, TOWARDS THE WEDDING; AND ALSO FOR GIVING ME A VERY HAPPY UPBRINGING, AND A VERY HAPPY FAMILY LIFE.
THE ONLY TWO THINGS I WONT MISS ARE MY MOMS BAKING, AND MY DADS
JOKES. MOM SAID TO ME THE OTHER DAY, I'VE BAKED SOME ASSORTED CAKES, DO YOU WANT TO TAKE
YOUR PICK?----I SAID NO, MY HAMMER AND CHISEL, SHOULD DO. MIND YOU ILL SAY ONE THING FOR
MOM, SHE PUTS UP WITH DADS JOKES; IN FACT SHE KNOWS ALL HIS JOKES BACKWARDS.
UNFORTUNATELY, SHE USUALLY TELLS THEM THAT WAY.
DAD CAME OUT FOR THE BACHELOR PARTY, AND HE REALLY ENJOYED HIMSELF.
HE EVEN DID A SPOT OF DANCING, DOWN AT THE NIGHTCLUB. A WOMAN SAID TO ME "WHO'S THAT
MAN, WITH THE GREY HAIR"?. I SAID "ITS MY DAD". I THOUGHT
TO MYSELF, HE'S DRUNK, SO I SAID TO HER, "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE WAY HE
MOVES"? SHE SAID "NOT A LOT ,HE DANCES LIKE AN CHIMPAZEE
LINDA, AND I, WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH, FOR YOUR
CARDS, KIND THOUGHTS, AND WONDERFUL PRESENTS.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY HOW OVERWHELMED, I AM, BY HOW BEAUTIFUL LINDA LOOKS , IN HER
WEDDING DRESS; AND ALSO HOW LOVELY THE BRIDESMAIDS LOOK. IF JULIE ,CAROL AND ANITA, WOULD
LIKE TO COME OUT HERE, WE WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THEM A SMALL GIFT,
AS A TOKEN OF OUR THANKS, AND AS A MEMENTO OF THIS LOVELY DAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE UPSTANDING, I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST, TO THE
BRIDESMAIDS.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK TOM AND BRIAN, FOR BEING THE USHERS.
TOM ASKED A LADY IF" SHE WAS A FRIEND OF THE BRIDEGROOM"?, TO WHICH SHE REPLIED,
"CERTAINLY NOT , IM THE BRIDES MOTHER"
ONLY JOKING, PAM.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK, MY BEST MAN CRAIG.
HE HAS BEEN A TOWER OF STRENGTH THROUGHOUT THE PROCEEDINGS.
I CANT GET OVER, HOW WELL HE HAS SCRUBBED UP. ANY OF YOU THAT KNOW CRAIG, WILL KNOW THAT
HE USUALLY LOOKS, AS IF HE HAS DRESSED IN FRONT OF AN AEROPLANE PROPELLER. MIND YOU, ILL
SAY ONE THING FOR HIM, HE ALWAYS HAS A BATH ONCE A WEEK. WHETHER HE NEEDS IT ,OR NOT.
ANYWAY, IM NOT GOING TO STAND HERE, AND GIVE YOU A LOAD OF, STALE
OLD JOKES, BUT IM GOING TO HAND YOU OVER , TO SOMEBODY WHO WILL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE
BEST MAN, CRAIG
