The Grooms
Speech
THANK YOU CHARLES. ITS A BIT LATE, TO
WARN ME ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTERS COOKING SKILLS. I WOULD SINCERELY LIKE
TO THANK YOU AND PAM, FOR GIVING US THIS WONDERFUL WEDDING, AND
RECEPTION. ALSO FOR GIVING YOUR BLESSING, FOR ME TO MARRY, YOUR LOVELY
DAUGHTER, LINDA.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK MY
PARENTS, FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTION, TOWARDS THE WEDDING; AND ALSO FOR
GIVING ME A VERY HAPPY UPBRINGING, AND A VERY HAPPY FAMILY LIFE.
THE ONLY TWO THINGS I WONT MISS ARE
MY MOMS BAKING, AND MY DADS JOKES. MOM SAID TO ME THE OTHER DAY, I'VE
BAKED SOME ASSORTED CAKES, DO YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR PICK?----I SAID
NO, MY HAMMER AND CHISEL, SHOULD DO. MIND YOU ILL SAY ONE THING FOR
MOM, SHE PUTS UP WITH DADS JOKES; IN FACT SHE KNOWS ALL HIS JOKES
BACKWARDS. UNFORTUNATELY, SHE USUALLY TELLS THEM THAT WAY.
DAD CAME OUT FOR THE BACHELOR
PARTY, AND HE REALLY ENJOYED HIMSELF.
HE EVEN DID A SPOT OF DANCING, DOWN AT THE
NIGHTCLUB. A WOMAN SAID TO ME "WHO'S THAT MAN, WITH THE GREY HAIR"?. I
SAID "ITS MY DAD". I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, HE'S DRUNK, SO I SAID TO HER,
"WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE WAY HE MOVES"? SHE SAID "NOT A LOT ,HE
DANCES LIKE AN CHIMPAZEE
LINDA, AND I, WOULD LIKE TO
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH, FOR YOUR CARDS, KIND THOUGHTS, AND WONDERFUL
PRESENTS.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY HOW OVERWHELMED, I AM,
BY HOW BEAUTIFUL LINDA LOOKS , IN HER WEDDING DRESS; AND ALSO HOW
LOVELY THE BRIDESMAIDS LOOK. IF JULIE ,CAROL AND ANITA, WOULD LIKE TO
COME OUT HERE, WE WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THEM A SMALL GIFT,
AS A TOKEN OF OUR THANKS, AND AS A MEMENTO OF THIS
LOVELY DAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE UPSTANDING, I WOULD
LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST, TO THE BRIDESMAIDS.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK TOM
AND BRIAN, FOR BEING THE USHERS.
TOM ASKED A LADY IF" SHE WAS A FRIEND OF THE
BRIDEGROOM"?, TO WHICH SHE REPLIED, "CERTAINLY NOT , IM THE BRIDES
MOTHER"
ONLY JOKING, PAM.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I WOULD
LIKE TO THANK, MY BEST MAN CRAIG.
HE HAS BEEN A TOWER OF STRENGTH THROUGHOUT THE
PROCEEDINGS.
I CANT GET OVER, HOW WELL HE HAS SCRUBBED UP. ANY OF
YOU THAT KNOW CRAIG, WILL KNOW THAT HE USUALLY LOOKS, AS IF HE HAS
DRESSED IN FRONT OF AN AEROPLANE PROPELLER. MIND YOU, ILL SAY ONE
THING FOR HIM, HE ALWAYS HAS A BATH ONCE A WEEK. WHETHER HE NEEDS IT
,OR NOT.
ANYWAY, IM NOT GOING TO STAND HERE,
AND GIVE YOU A LOAD OF, STALE OLD JOKES, BUT IM GOING TO HAND YOU OVER
, TO SOMEBODY WHO WILL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE BEST MAN, CRAIG
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