Foreverwed.com ~ View topic

Site Admin Joined: 07 Jun 2002 Posts: 90

Hello, Kaina01--

You are within your rights to invited single people "singly", if that is your preference. The invitation inner envelope would have only their name, no "and guest" notation.

(I am speaking of TRULY SINGLE people here. This would not be appropriate, however, for engaged couples-- both should be included, or neither-- or for people who date exclusively and whom you know. If you exclude, for example, the girlfriend of a close friend, that will appear rude.)

However, you should be aware that many people are quite uncomfortable attending this sort of event alone-- especially if they are a friend, not family or someone who knows a lot of the other guests.

Remember, you and your fiance will be very busy that day, and will not have a lot of time to spend with anyone. You need to try and greet all guests and divide your time amongst them.

So many times it is *preferable* to make some change in either guest list or reception arrangements (amount/cost of food, for example) to make it possible for your single guests to bring dates.

Good luck to you.

Sara

Site Admin Joined: 08 Jun 2002 Posts: 1174

I must disagree with the previous poster. There are no rules of etiquette that I have been able to find that state that a couple must allow strangers to attend their wedding. You will note in the post from Sara that she encouraged the couple to allow guests, but if their facility is small or their budget is tight, they do not have to allow their guests to bring a friend.

If you are invited alone, surely you know someone who is going to the wedding that you can go wtih or plan to meet and sit with.

Site Admin Joined: 08 Jun 2002 Posts: 1174

Diane,

I must disagree to some extent with your comment that the party is for the guests. Yes, it is for the guests, but it must also fall withing the couple's budget and the available space at the facility where the reception will be held. According to etiquette, the bride and groom can decide whether to allow guests to bring dates or friends depending on their circumstances.

It is up to the person hosting the party (ANY PARTY) who is invitied to that event, anyone attending who is not invited is a "gate crasher".
While is was very poor and wrong of the peron who invited NoGuestInvitied and not her fiance, it is allowed and quiet common for those who are not in a commited relationship to not have a guest invited if the hosts have alimited budget or space etc etc. I have been to many wedding alone and have found that I am usually sat at a singles table with other who are single and I must say this has been the MOST FUN, meeting new peopl and they usually keep the boy girl ratio, so the dancing is no problem, and I must say the singles probably had the MOST fun out of everyone, once the ice was broken (which can be done in lots of fun ways (one wedding had little game things for us when we first sat down and had us all laughing and feeling like old friends very quickly).
Don't think of attending a wedding alone as a hardship or inconvenience or lonely experience, think of it as a great way to meet new people (and one fo these wedding I met, two of the other singles really hit it off and low and behold 18 months later, we were attending THERE wedding, I mean hey you NEVER KNOW!!!
Just take it easy, this is the bride and grooms wedding, and not a dating game for the single.
Wedding are NOT couples events they are a celebration of ONE new couple and the life they are planning together.

If you get an invite for you and a guest then great, that is fine, you find and take someone with you, if you get an invite for just yourself then just attend alone and celebrate with the happy couple and the other guests, if you are in a commitied relationship or engaged and you get an invite for just one of you, it might be worthwhile letting the hosts know that you are now engaged or in a commited realationship and ask if it is OK if you bring your partner, this doesn't mean a new bofriend or girlfriend, or someone you are seeing, but a commited partner.
Just think of the lives you are going to celebrate and the union these two people are commiting to on this day.

Sharon

Site Admin Joined: 08 Jun 2002 Posts: 1174

It sounds as if the bride and her family commited an etiquette faux pas by not removing a reference to guests from the RSVPs of those who may not bring guests. They also goofed by allowing some guests to bring a guest but not others.

If only your name appeared on the envelope, then only you are invited. I would not contact the bride. She apparently assumes that since you received mixed messages with the invitation and RSVP, that you would follow generally accepted protocol and not bring a guest if your invitation didn't indicate that you could. If you don't feel comfortable traveling to the wedding alone, your friend might go with you, but not attend the wedding, or you might decline and choose not to make the trip.