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Poll: What will happen to your last name? share your ideas with other brides

ForeverWed.com Readers: We Need You! Can you help with these questions?

I have asked all of the attendants and they have accepted but I was wondering if anyone had an poems or short notes to thank them for accepting and being in the bridal party.  Post your answer now!

I am having a royal wedding theme, with horse and carriage but wanted any ideas or suggestions that anyone might have.  Post your answer now!

What type of transportation are you using to get to and from the wedding? Post your answer now!

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Planning a Military Wedding, Part 2
From ForeverWed Staff Expert, Glenna Tooman

(Last month, we printed the first half of this article, including
information about appropriate locations and attire for military
weddings.)

Invitations: Military wedding invitations are worded like those for any
other wedding. The only difference is in the use of titles. If the groom
is an officer, his rank and branch of service is included and military
titles should not be abbreviated. If the fathers are military officers,
either active or retired, their rank may be included as well.
Traditionally, brides who are members of the military do not use their
rank on the invitations, but you may if you choose to do so.  If the
groom is an officer, his name would appear as:

Major John Joseph Jones
United States Air Force

Enlisted personnel do not include their rank, nor do they use the term
"Mr." or "Ms." on an invitation, since it is not proper to address a
military person on active duty by those titles. Therefore, the enlisted
personís full name is written on one line, with the branch of service
underneath, such as:

Susan Elizabeth Jones
United States Air Force

Retired officers, particularly those with ranks of Commander, Lieutenant
Colonel, or greater, usually keep their titles in civilian life and use
them on wedding invitations, but they do not use their branch of service
unless they are the wedding host and a spouse's name is not included. 

Outside envelopes should be addressed with rank, first, and last names,
no abbreviated titles.  The inner envelope is addressed with the rank
and last name, again no abbreviations, such as "Major and Mrs. Johnson" 

If an officer is marrying, it is considered proper to invite commanding
officers, their spouses and all or some of the staff officers (and their
wives or husbands) to the wedding.  They should be seated together in
the pews directly behind the parents.  The chaplain and spouse should be
invited to the reception.

The Arch of Sabers:  Only officers may apply for an arch of sabers and
only commissioned officers can carry sabers or swords to create the
arch. On most bases, at least one chapel or an honor guard usually has
sabers available for wedding ceremonies. Other possible sources are
national guard units and ROTC units. Contact your base chaplain or
commanding officer to schedule an arch of sabers.

Some branches of the military allow those participating in the arch of
swords to serve as groomsmen and/or ushers as well.  Other branches do
not allow it.  Ask your chaplain for the protocol in your branch of the
military before asking members of your wedding party to perform the arch.

The arch is usually formed outside of the church or chapel as the bride
and groom exit.  A sword should not be unsheathed inside a religious
sanctuary except during inclement weather and with permission from the
chaplain or minister. At least 6 officers should form the arch, though
more may participate. One person will be designated to issue the
commands, starting with "center face," the signal to form two facing
lines. When the order "arch sabers" or "bridge swords" is given, each
usher raises his saber, cutting edge up, to form the arch. Only the
wedding party walks through the arch, beginning with the bride and
groom.  Guests should stand when the arch is formed and remain standing
until the sword bearers exit, after the wedding party.  Guests may then
be seated until the ushers dismiss them.

Receptions:  Military receptions may be held on base at officers' or NCO
clubs, or you can have a traditional reception at a location off base.
If the groom is in uniform, he should precede the bride in the receiving
line. The bride and groom may choose to cut the cake using a saber or
sword. The groom presents the saber to the bride and together they cut a
slice of the wedding cake with the groom's right hand resting over the
bride's right hand.

The above information is presented as a general guideline for all
branches of the military. If you have questions about your military
wedding, check with your chaplain or protocol officer.  Each base and
each branch of the military has its own regulations.  If the wedding or
reception will be held on base, you may need to obtain permission for
non-military photographers, florists, musicians, and others to
participate in the wedding.  You will also need to provide the gate with
a list of the names of all invited guests and those who will be working
at the wedding.  Each car will be stopped at the gate and the driver
will need to provide proof of insurance and photo identification before
being allowed on base.

 

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Question and Answer:  Mother/daughter song ideas?
From ForeverWed Staff Expert, Patty Hansen

****
Hello I am the bride and my parents got divorced when I was really little so my mother raised me all by herself. I wanted to find some songs just for me and her. I can only find songs for Mother/Son or Father/Daughter can you please help me.
****

Thanks for the fabulous question. You are right, there are alot of father/daughter and mother/son wedding songs but not alot of mother/daughter wedding music.

1.  Wind Beneath My Wings  (Bette Midler)
2.  Because You Loved Me  (Celine Dion)
3.  How the Years Go By  (Vanessa Williams)
4.  I am your Child  (Barry Manilow)
5.  A Song For My Daughter  (Ray Allaire) 

The best way to pick out this song is to choose one that either you and
your mother both like, or choose a song that reminds you of your mother.
You can also try this link with other wedding songs:

http://www.foreverwed2.com/music/otherdancesongs.html
http://www.clevelandbride.com/br-daug.htm
http://www.foreverwed2.com/music/fatherdaughter.htm
http://www.foreverwed2.com/music/motherson.html


You could also write lyrics yourself or write your mother a poem and
read it during your wedding ceremony or reception while your musician plays soft music
in the background. Here is a sample poem to a mother from her daughter:

You’ve been by my side since I was so small
Whenever I needed you I just had to call
You’ve nursed my wounds and soothed my fears
Healed my heart and wiped away my tears
You’ve shared my laughter and life’s many joys
Put up with my rebellion and all of my noise
On this special day I cannot express
How my thoughts turn to you as I put on this dress
All that you’ve taught me has brought me here
Knowing you’re at my side I feel no fear
Times may change but hearts never do
It may seem I’m moving on but I’ll always love you
My husband’s love will complete my life
With all you’ve taught me I’ll be a good wife
As I take this step and walk down this aisle
I’ll think of you and can’t help but smile
I can’t thank you enough for all of your time
My heart will always be with you mother of mine.

Author Unknown

Good Luck and Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.  Hope this helps,

Patty Hansen
Foreverwed.com Wedding Expert

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Question and Answer: Should family be part of the wedding party?

I recently received the following question:

****
Should the father of the groom be a member of the wedding party?
****

There is no rule of etiquette that the father of the groom-- or any
other family member-- must or must not be included in the bridal party.
The decision of who is included in the wedding party is really up to
the couple to make.  Every couple has different family members to
consider, different relationships with them, and different personal
preferences. 

In general, you will want to consider:

~ your age
~ any previous marriages
~ your available family members
~ your relationship to each of them
~ their relationships with one another
~ the likelihood of jealousy between family members who are and are not
in the bridal party
~ the size bridal party you would most prefer

For example, a young couple is most likely to include siblings, cousins,
parents, or even aunts and uncles in their bridal party.  A couple in
their 30s or 40s who has children from a previous marriage might have
them participate as junior attendants of some kind.  An older couple
with children might have them serve as honor attendants, or might even
have a child "escort" them to the altar. 

As you can see, there are many different family members which might be
considered. 

If you choose family as part of the bridal party, put the focus on the
honor of their serving, not on what you want them to do for you.   Try
to keep costs for attire, travel, hosting to a minimum-- and make the
most of sharing this special time.

If you have multiple siblings of the same sex, and will include one,
consider a similar honor or position for the other, if possible and
practical.  Of course, you may choose, for example, the sister you are
closest to as your maid of honor; but in most families it would be most
kind to have the other sister at least stand with you as a bride's maid.

In the case of the groom's father, specifically, if he's included in the
bridal party, he should probably be the best man. If he's not the most
appropriate best man, I think he's better off just being the father of
the groom-- a nice honor for the day, in and of itself. 

Making the father of the groom "just" a groomsman doesn't seem as
gracious as allowing him a place of honor in the audience so he can
enjoy the ceremony with the mother of the groom.