Brides Only
Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?
A. They can't stand criticism.
Q. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
A. Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.
Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own
business?
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their
decisions.
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q. What is a man's view of safe sex?
A. A padded headboard.
Q. How do men sort their laundry?
A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through
his stomach you're aiming too high.
2. Woman don't make fools of men-most of them are the
do-it-yourself types .
3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health
reason: you're sick of him .
4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home.
He probably lies about other things too.
5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she
asked her husband to do.
6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one-they try
harder.
7. Go for younger men. You might as well-they never
mature anyway.
8. A man who can dress himself without looking like
Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.
9. Men are all the same-they just have different
faces so you can tell them apart.
10. Definition of a man with manners-he gets out of
the bath to pee.
11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good
husband, you will usually find that he already is.
12. Scientists have just discovered something that
can do the work of five men .......... a woman.
13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe
men
- strong, caring, loving -
they'd be wrong but you could still use them.
14. Men are like animals-messy, insensitive and
potentially violent-but they make great pets.
15. Men's brains are like the prison system-not
enough cells per man.
16. There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men - "don't" and "stop".
17. Husbands are like children-they're fine if
they're someone else's.
Men are like department stores.... their clothes
should always be half off.
Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long
enough.
Men are like computers... hard to figure out and
never have enough memory.
Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you
can take them anywhere.
Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and
they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm,
and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what
to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers... they spend most of their
lives in a hard ware store or the bathroom.
Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take
a long time to get hard.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
WHAT SHOULD YOU GIVE A MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
A WOMAN TO SHOW HIM HOW TO WORK IT
WHY DON'T MEN HAVE MID-LIFE CRISES?
THEY STAY STUCK IN ADOLESCENCE
