1. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger. The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

3. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

4. A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted. "Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

5. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

6. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

7. If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

8. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

9. How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

10. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.