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You may think that the fuss surrounding the wedding is silly and incomprehensible, but
what you don't realize is that the way you do things as a couple between now and "I
do" can set patterns of communication that will grow over the course of your
marriage.
Your role in the wedding is almost always
smaller than the bride's, yet you need to participate as much as possible in every phase
of the wedding planning. Getting married is a public affirmation of commitment
between a man and woman, and weddings are a volatile mix of religion, legal issues, family
issues, and the transition from living as a bachelor to living together as a team.
As you plan the wedding with your bride, you learn alot not only about yourself but about
her and her family.
Once you realize the enormous value of taking
an active role, you need to develop a strategy to accomplish dozens of goals. What
am I supposed to pay for? How do I deal with my in laws? My single friends? My
clergyman? there is a long list of things that you are supposed to know about.
On your own, you have to buy an engagement and
wedding ring; draw up the guest lists for yourself and your family, plan the honeymoon;
find a best man and ushers; pay for a variety of symbolically important wedding expenses
and so on. You will be seen in a better light by your bride if you cheerfully
surprise them by fulfilling your role before being asked. Remember the man who is
always prepared and knows what to do generates a larger than life mystique, and your
fiancée and her family will rightly believe that they can depend on you. Above all
else so far, remember to keep your sense of humor. |
