Getting Ready For Marriage

Right now the concept of married life might seem a bit frightening. You're worried about losing your freedom and independence. You might be concerned about the responsibility involved, or the quality of your future sexual relationship. It bothers you that you disagree about many things-or that you cannot tell her your deepest thoughts and feelings. It's good that you're concerned. That means that you're thinking, and that you're not foolish enough to believe that love will conquer all other problems.

It takes work, communication, support; compatible goals, trust, and compromise to make a marriage succeed. And you might be surprised to find how little you really know each other. Take time now to discuss your ideas and expectations. It will be a giant step towards starting your marriage off on the right track.

Married life can be quite different from the time you spend together today. The never-ending drudgery of going to work, paying bills, and fixing meals will eventually rub some of the glow off your relationship. When people live together and share decisions and the toothpaste, little irritations can rise and compound. If not checked, they can .turn into major problems.

Here are some questions to ask yourself or your fiancee. Some are just for fun, others are about key items that could affect your future together. There are no 'right' or 'wrong' answers. You don't have to agree on everything- you never will. The whole point of the exercise is to start talking and thinking about these issues. To listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas and opinions. It's much better to discuss that now, than to start your marriage with too many false expectations.

How Well Do You Know Her?

• What was she nicknamed as a child?
• What's her favorite dessert?
• What's her least favorite vegetable?
• What's her favorite color?
• Where would she like to go on vacation?
• What's the first thing she'd buy if she won a million dollars?
• What's her dream car?

What Will Married

• How do you picture your married life together? [Pick one]

Life Be Like?

• A happy round of parties and friends.
• Quiet evenings at home.
• Family visits every weekend
• We'll spend all our free time together.
• The same as it is now.

Unless you checked the last box

• how do your expectations compare to your current time together?
• Most importantly, how closely do your fiancee's expectations match your own?

Why Are You Getting Married?

• To spend more time together.
• Companionship-to avoid loneliness
• To improve our relationship.
• To make someone happy.
• I can't afford to live alone.
• To help my career .
• I want children.
• Love.
                                            

Obviously, more than one will apply. The key is that you recognize your primary reasons. Are they strong enough to maintain a lasting relationship?

What Three Things Do You Consider Most Essential In A Wife?

• Sense of humor
• Financial security
• Respect
• Trustworthiness
• Affection
• Good sexual relationship
• Good companion
• Sensitivity to my moods/feelings
• Best friend
• Similar goals

How Do You See The Future?

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What's the biggest adjustment you'll face after the wedding?

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List the five things you like best about your bride-to-be:

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continue

 
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