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Concise information on how to plan
your military wedding Every
wedding requires special planning, but a military wedding calls
for some specific traditions that may be unfamiliar to a civilian
bride whose mother or mother-in-law did not have to consider such
a ceremony.
Marilyn Sharp, wife of Colonel
Dan Sharp (retired), gives this advice on how to smooth the way to
a perfect military wedding. "The most important thing to do is to
plan as soon as you becone engaged, and don't feel silly checking
two or three times with the caterer or florist." Mrs. Sharp said
that it was not uncommon to have the wrong flowers and wedding
cake end up at the wrong wedding. Part of the problem with simple
services, like hotels, caterers, and florists at the academies, is
that there are so few of them. West Point, for example, has only
one hotel in the nearby town. Many people come each year to West
Point for graduation and weddings in June, so hotel reservations
must be made as early as February.
Mrs. Sharp's husband graduated from West Point in 1951 and retired
from the service as the deputy commandant at West Point. Being the
wife of the deputy commandant, she helped the cadets plan their
weddings and recalls having attended eight military weddings in
one day! Any enlisted man or officer can have a military wedding
in full-dress uniform. Like anything having to do with the
military, there are certain guidelines that pertain to all
military weddings, regardless of wether they are held at one of
the academy chapels or in a civilian church.
 A
military wedding is a formal affair. Your fiance and his
military friends wear their dress uniforms and white gloves.
Boutonnieres cannot be worn on a military uniform. If there are
any civilian ushers, they should wear cut-aways, strollers, black
or dark-colored suites. Your father, if he is not in the military,
should do the same.
Invitations to a military wedding read almost the same as those
for a civilian wedding. However, you should include your fiance's
rank and branch. For instance, instead of John Smith, you would
put, Lieutenant John Smith, U.S. Army.
The saber arch is one of the things that makes the military
wedding so special. During the recessional, the bridge and groom
walk under an arch made by the ushers or designated saberbearers.
This is also the most photographed part of a military wedding. A
good rule of thumb is to have four to six saberbearers in your
wedding party: they can serve as ushers or can be separated from
the ushers. It looks nice to have the same number of bridesmaids
as saberbearers, but this is up to you.
Commanding officers should always be seated according to their
ranks. Your ushers will probably, if they are in the service, know
how to do this. Other officers may sit anywhere. The chaplains at
each of the military academies
have provided a summary of their own
specific rules.
United States Naval
Academy: Annapolis, Maryland. The following people can be married
at the U.S. Naval Academy Chapel: Naval Academy graduates, active
or retired, and their children; military personnel assigned to
Annapolis, and
their children; Academy faculty, active or retired, and their
children; and military personnel retired with pay, and their
children who regularly attend the Academy Chapel.
Weddings are scheduled through the senior chaplain's office, which
can be found in the wedding handbook. Weddings can be held Monday
through Saturday from noon to 4:00 P.M. except for the week of
commissioning. After the application has been received, you will
be issued a time for the rehearsal and wedding.
During commissioning week, the Chapel is reserved for the
graduating midshipmen only. The scheduling for their weddings is
usually different from weddings at other times. For information on
commissioning week weddings, you should contact the office of the
senior chaplain.
Only Naval Academy chaplains will peform weddings in the Naval
Academy Chapel, and the Academy chaplains advice premarital
counseling before a couple are married in the Chapel. If you live
far away from the Academy, the chaplains
will suggest a counselor.
The arch of swords, as it is called in the Navy, takes place in
the Chapel steps. Since the Chapel does not supply swords, your
party must furnish them.
Music for the wedding is the responsibility of the director of
musical activities at the Naval Academy. Only appropriate sacred
music can be used. Soloists and guest instrumentalists are not
encouraged at the Chapel.
Pictures can be taken in the Bride's Room, in the sacristy, and
outside the Chapel before the ceremony. A flash may be used during
the processional and the recessional. Pictures may be taken in the
new nave during the ceremony, including the balconies, without
flash. No pictures may be taken in the Chapel after the ceremony
unless the weather is inclement.
Flowers for the Chapel are provided by the Chapel Altar Guild.
These flowers cannot be removed from the Chapel after the wedding.
Flowers for the members of the wedding party are the
responsibility of those getting married.
Rice cannot be thrown inside or outside the Chapel. Be sure to
inform your guests of this restriction.
There are rooms for last-minute preparations at the Chapel, but at
the beginning of the ceremony everything should be removed from
these rooms.
A mininum contribution of $65 should be made to the Protestant or
Catholic Chapel. This is to be paid when you submit your
application: it helps to defray the cost of marriage books,
candles, flowers, and music.
United States Air Force Academy: Colorado Springs, Colorado. The
Academy has two different chapels and a different booklet for
each.
The Protestant Chapel can be used only by graduates of any
military academy and active-duty military personnel assigned to
the U.S. Air Force Academy, and their dependents. This is an
Academy regulation. Chaplains that are assigned to the Academy
normally preside over the wedding, but in special circumstances
other clergy may officiate. Premarital counseling is mandatory for
all marriages, beginning at least thirty days before the ceremony.
Rehearsals should be scheduled
with the chaplain. Flowers are to be provided by the wedding
party, and should be delivered to the Chapel. White runners are
not allowed because of the highly polished floor.
The Chapel provides candles and kneeling cushions for the bride
and groom. Sabers and baldrics (holders for the sabers) are
available at the Chapel, too. However, they cannot be removed.
Pictures may be taken with a flash only during the processional
and following the benediction. Pictures of the religious portion
of your wedding may be taken from the balcony only. Flashbulbs are
not allowed at that time. Flashbulbs may be used during the arch
of sabers. There will be time after the wedding for pictures.
In the interest of time, a reception line cannot be formed at the
end of your wedding. Weddings at the Chapel must also begin and
end on schedule.
Nothing--rice, confetti, or flower petals--can be thrown either
inside or outside the Chapel (mainly for safely reasons).
Military chaplains do not receive fees for their services.
Donations can be given, but there is no charge for the use of the
Chapel.
The Catholic ceremony is relatively the same. However, there are a
few differences.
Catholics need a copy of their record of baptism from the church
where it was performed. This needs to be issued six months prior
to the ceremony. A questionnaire must be filled out in the
presence of a priest. If the marriage is interfaith, special
counseling on the responsibilities of being Catholic is
required before the ceremony. For all couples marrying in the
Catholic Church, attendance at premarital sessions is required.
You must also obtain permission from your pastor to be married in
any church other than your own parish. Sabers are not permitted
inside the Catholic Church.
United States Military Academy: West point, New York. West Point
does not have a bride's handbook, but Marilyn Sharp offers some
tips for brides who want to be married at West Point.
According to Mrs. Sharp, the bride must bring to West Point
everything that the party will need. If you are marrying a
graduating cadet, he will draw lots several months before the
event to determine what time your wedding will take place during
June week. Weddings begin one hour after graduation and run
continuously throughout the week. There are three chapels at the
Academy and one Jewish Synagogue.
Mrs. Sharp said that the hardest thing about having your wedding
during June week is finding a place to stay. There is one hotel in
Highland Falls; and it is booked early in February because of all
the wedding parties and all of the parents and relatives who plan
to attend graduation. You should make
reservations at the hotel for your entire wedding party as soon as
you know the date. Follow this immediately with a call to the
officer's club about the reception. It is very important that you
include a "reception following" card with an R.S.V.P. on it so
that you know the number of guests to expect.
Order the flowers from the florist early and recheck to make sure
that there is no mix-up as to the time and place. Photographs
depend on the church--you will have to ask the chaplain of the
chapel you have chosen. Rehearsals are set by appointment. First,
you should check on any special rules that your church might have
on the drawing of sabers.
Planning a
military wedding is basically no different from planning any other
type of wedding, until the conclusion. The recessional proceeds
like this: The bride and groom leave the church first, followed by
the bridesmaids and seaberbears. When the bride and groom reach
the back of the church, they step aside to let the wedding party
and congregation leave. After everyone is out of the church, the
saberbears form two lines facing each other to form an arch of
sabers. According to officers who have had military weddings, the
saber arch should be practiced before the wedding. Make sure that
officers participating in the saber arch leave enough room between
them so the bride and groom can go under side by side.
The commands for the arch are as follows: Sabers are carried in
the "carry draw" position. At the command of "draw sabers," the
arch is formed. Each bearer raises his right arm with saber in
hand rotating the arm until the blade is on top. If the saberbears
bend their wrists, they should have a true
arch. At the command,
"return sabers," the saberberars return their sabers to the "carry
draw" position. Your saberbears should know what the "carry draw"
position is: if the are unsure, it is partially in the baldric and
partially out.
Only the bride and groom may walk under the saber arch.
One special tradition at a military wedding reception is that the
bride and groom cut the first piece of cake with the groom's
saber. The groom places his hand on the hilt of the saber (the
handle) and the bride guides the blade.
A military wedding can be as modern or as traditional as you want
to make it. Concluding with the arch of sabers adds an especially
memorable touch for you and your officer husband.
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