it's quite an old tradition to have both a maid and matron of honor, where
appropriate. In your case, it seems like a natural choice. It is important to
decide ahead of time who will be responsible for which duties, but other than
that, it is an easy and logical way to honor both of these important people.
Logistically, you will need to choose which will stand closest to you at the
altar and who will walk in what order in the processional and recessional.
Probably, your daughter would be the logical one to attend
you most closely-- standing with you, holding your bouquet when necessary,
adjusting your train if you will have one, etc.
However, if you wish, it is perfectly acceptable for the maid and matron to
actually walk in together, honoring both equally and making it clear that the
matron is just that and not another bridesmaid.
As for the equality of men on the other side, I personally recommend you do not
worry about this issue. There is no true drawback to an uneven number of maids
and groomsmen, and I think attendants should be chosen for emotional/sentimental
reasons, not numerical ones. If your husband-to-be chooses to have his best man
and the same number of groomsmen as you have "regular" maids, that is fine. It
would also work fine if he wanted to have his best man and one more groomsman to
equal the number of total men and women. That decision should be up to him.
I've never been to a wedding with two "best men" and I see no real reason there
should be one in this case-- unless the groom had some sort of similar situation
to yours. But even then, it's more awkward with
men. There's no reason to make all sorts of distinctions.
If you end up with fewer men, then you can handle the recessional in a number of
different ways. You can have your daughter walk herself out behind you, then
have the best man escort the matron. You can have the matron walk out alone
behind you and have the best man escort your daughter. You can have the best man
escort *both* the maid and matron (this can sometimes be quite charming, if the
aisle is wide enough to accommodate three people). Use your own judgment on
what seems appropriate. The "rules" aren't strict about this sort of thing, so
you are free to do what works for you. : )
Foreverwed.com Expert-- Sara L.Ambarian
Choosing Your Bridal Party Q & A: What you need to know