Wedding Ceremony - Unity Candles - How would family members do the ceremony


How would a unity candle best be handled when there is a mother, father & step-mother on the brides side, and a mother and step-father on the grooms?

 

Frankly, there are times when some traditions are best just eliminated from the ceremony, rather than trying to figure out a way to include too
many people graciously.  You'll need to weigh the importance of this portion of the ceremony against any likely complications.

Most often at the weddings I've attended, the unity candle is lit by the mothers of the bride and groom.  This could be done in this case, too.
Certain honors and privileges are reserved for "biological" mothers, like seating in the front pew, entering the church last before the processional, etc.

Sometimes fathers are included in unity candles, but more often in my experience they are not.  If the father of the bride will escort the bride in, that's certainly a large honor for him.  And if he and the bride's mother will in unison "give away" the bride at the question "who gives..." (answering together, We do), the step-mother could perhaps also stand and join in this, too.

If the stepmother feels "left out", then I think it would be easier to give her some other honor, rather than trying to somehow include her in
the unity candle.

On the other hand, if it seems too troublesome to include the mothers and not the step=mother, another option is to have the unity ceremony,
but have the candles lit either when guests enter the ceremony-- or by some other two people altogether, rather than the mothers.

It's a judgment call, unfortunately, rather than a strict etiquette situation. But I hope that these comments are of some help to you.

Best wishes--

Sara L. Ambarian --Staff expert-- Foreverwed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and Inspiration"/
creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com 
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara 

 

Wedding Ceremony: What you need to know

Its our step by step guide to wedding to wedding receptions.  No matter the question, we've got an example or answer for you

The following information is articles, questions, and answers that have been submitted by ForeverWed readers.  Should these not answer your questions. Feel free to ask an expert
.

Related Articles and Advice:

25 Ways to Make Your Wedding a Unique One

Checklist for the Brides Wedding Date

A Brief Guide to Creating Your Own Religious Ceremony*

African American Weddings

All About Writing your Wedding Vows

Alternatives to Church Weddings*

Appointment Schedules Checklist

Attendants Sizes and Measurements Checklist

Best man: Best Man Responsibilities

Bookmark & Scroll Readings

Bridal Attire Information
Bridal Attire Shopping Worksheet
Bridal Attire Worksheet
Bridal Attendants Information Worksheet
Bridal Attendants List
Bridal Attendants Worksheet
Brides Name and Change of Address Worksheet
Brides Wedding Day Checklist

Bridesmaids

Catholic Ceremonies

Ceremony Planner: For your Ceremony & Reception

Ceremony Music Information

Children in the Wedding Ceremony

Christian Bride

Christian Ceremony

Civil Ceremony

Consultants and Coordinators

Covenant Documents
Do You need a bridal consultant
Final Wedding Day Checklist

Five Ways to Plan a wedding with a full time job
Flower arrangements for your wedding day
The Jewish Marriage Contract
The Jewish Ceremony

Jewish Wedding Ceremonies
Jewish Wedding Traditions
Jewish Wedding Ceremonies
Grooms Attendants Information
Grooms Attendants List
Grooms Attendants Worksheet
Grooms Change of Address and Marital Status Worksheet

Guide to Jewish Wedding Ceremonies
Marriage License Checklist

Military Weddings

Officiant
Outdoor Wedding Tips

Postponements

Processional

Photography Checklist

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

Recessional Order

Recessional

Readings

Seating How To's

Specialized Passages

Stationary Checklist
Stationary Worksheet

Traditional Passages
Transportation Worksheet

Tips for Working with your florist

The Hottest Trend: Wedding Websites

Vows

Wedding Attendants Guide for the Ceremony

Wedding Ceremony Music

Wedding Etiquette

Wedding Programs
Wedding Quotes
Videography Worksheet

Wedding Flowers
Ways to save on flowers
What you need to know about Jewish weddings

Wedding Bouquet Styles
Wedding Flowers available year round

Wedding Planning Timeline

 


Wedding Supplies Store




Personalized Aisle Runners


Unity Sand Ceremony Sets


Shadow Box Ceremony Sets


Wedding Memorial


Flower Girl Baskets


Ring Bearer Pillows

 
Guest Books


Guest Book Alternatives

 
Mr. & Mr./Mrs & Mrs.


Bride's Favorites

Bridal Party Gifts
Bridal Party Gifts
Personalized Tin Mint Favors
Personalized Tin Mints
Personalized Water Bottle Labels
Personalized Water Bottle Labels
Unity Sand Ceremony
Unity Sand Ceremony