Wedding Rehearsals - At the Bride's Home?

Q.  My brother is getting married next month. Both he and his bride live here. However, the bride is from another town, about 5 hours away. The wedding will take place in her home town. We (my parents  I) have some questions regarding the rehearsal dinner.

1) Is it proper to have the rehearsal dinner at the bride's parents' home?
2)Who is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner?
3)What part does the brides' family have in the planning of the dinner?
4) What are the responsibilities of the groom's family for the rehearsal dinner?


A.  Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom's family unless there are extenuating circumstances, such as in your case. Your parents should first talk to your brother to find out what he and his fiancée want. Then, they should approach her parents, if they have volunteered their home. No matter where the dinner is held, your parents should offer to pay for the food. Everyone who is in the wedding party should be invited to the dinner, along with their spouses. The children in the wedding party should be accompanied by their parents. The minister and spouse and wedding coordinator should also be invited.  It is a courtesy, but not a requirement, to also invite relatives and close friends who have come from out of town rather than leaving them at a hotel alone for the evening. It sounds as though the bride's family may have overstepped their role and have planned the dinner already. If this is the case, and your brother and his fiancée are happy with the arrangements, I would let them go ahead and handle the arrangements. However, your parents should still offer to pay for the food. They do not have to pay for alcohol, though, if they would not have served it at a dinner that they planned. If the bride's parents refuse to accept payment, you have at least done what is socially proper.

Glenna Tooman, Wedding Expert,
Memory Makers Event Planning, LLC


Links & Resources for Wedding Rehearsals

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