Wedding Party Member Duties: Duties of the Best man & Maid of Honor

You've chosen each other, now it's time to pick your best man and maid of honor. Will you choose your brother, sister, best friend since kindergarten or college room-mate? The roles of best man and maid of honor are special. And...a big responsibility.

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Duties of the Bestman and Maid of Honor
by Robbin Montero of A Dream


Once you've selected your attendants, be sure to ask these individuals if they wish to participate! They'll be involved in many aspects of your wedding. Are they aware of the time and expense their positions require?

You already know that the best man pays for his tuxedo and the maid of honor pays for her gown. The maid of honor and best man are each also responsible for arranging for a gift from the other attendants. Each one contacts the bridesmaids or groomsmen and arranges for a special, joint wedding gift from that group. It is the duty of the best man and maid of honor to collect the money from the attendants and choose a gift they know their friends will love.

You've explained this to your friends. They're delighted to accept! "What else can we do?", they ask. Well, the maid of honor helps the bride pick out the perfect bridesmaids' dresses, while the best man assists the groom in choosing the appropriate tuxedos.

Parties! The maid of honor will have a full calendar; she attends all pre-wedding showers and parties given for the bride. Couples' showers are very popular, and both the best man and maid of honor are expected to attend. They also plan and are financially responsible for any bachelor or bachelorette parties. The maid of honor will also be busy helping to address invitations and make favors.

The big day has arrived. Your attendants are there to "get you to the church on time!" They help you get dressed and ready for the ceremony. The best man is in charge of arranging transportation to and from the church, and to the wedding night location. He may even drive the couple, himself. The best man and maid of honor have the privilege of acting as witnesses to your marriage. By signing the license they verify that they heard the spoken vows and witnessed the ceremony.

If there is no ring  bearer the maid of honor wears the groom's ring on her finger and the best man carries the bride's ring in his pocket. The best man also presents the checks to the clergy and organist at the church. He doesn't assume the financial responsibility, just delivers the envelopes!

The ceremony is over and guests have gathered at the reception. If the wedding has a larger receiving line, your attendants will be standing there with you and your parents. Your best man and maid of honor act as host and hostess at the reception. They cordially greet guests, dance and mingle. Both the best man and the maid of honor toast the happy couple.

Is there a money dance? The best man starts it by dancing with the bride while the maid of honor dances with the groom. The best man can also take the role of master of ceremonies.

It's time to leave for the honeymoon. Did the best man and maid of honor remember to decorate the car? That's part of the fun! The maid of honor assists the bride in changing from her bridal gown into her going-away clothes. The best man must remember to take the tuxedos back to the store the next day. The maid of honor does a final sweep of changing or dressing areas, too, to check for any forgotten items. The wedding is over and your friends helped to make your wedding a cherished and special memory. That's what friends are for.


Choosing Your Bridal Party Q & A: What you need to know

Its our step by step guide to wedding to wedding attendants.  No matter the question, we've got an example or answer for you

The following information is articles, questions, and answers that have been submitted by ForeverWed readers.  Should these not answer your questions. Feel free to ask an expert

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, Getting to know one another
Choosing your bridal party
Can my bridesmaids wear black?
Dismissing a Bridesmaid or other attendant
Do we send invitations to the people in our wedding party?
Do you have a suggestion of a fun, inexpensive way to ask them to be in my
Down the aisle: Who walks with the bride?
Eight Tips for Drafting a Great Team!
Fun and unique ways to ask my friends to be by my side in my wedding
Gift Ideas for your wedding attendants
Is it a new tradition to have a maid of honor and matron of honor?
Is it appropriate to have my divorced dad & mom walk me down the isle
Is it tacky to have a MAID & MATRON of honor?
Is there a certain way your supposed to ask a person to be an attendant?
Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor
more than one maid of honor?
Not the Maid of Honor, can I help?
order of processional
what color ties should the guys wear?

When should I ask them to be my attendants? 

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Duties: Is it proper to have a maid and a matron of honor?
Duties: It is traditional for the bride to treat her maids to a luncheon
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Duties: Maid of Honor Duties
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Maid of Honor : Being the Maid of Honor
  Maid of Honor: Ordering Dresses
  Maid of Honor: Planning the Wedding Shower
  Maid of Honor (MOH): Planning the Bachelorette Party
  MOH: Tending to the Bride on the Big Day
  MOH: Advice: Can I have a maid of honor and matron of honor?
  MOH: Advice: How much money should I expect to be spending on this?
  MOH: Advice: I have been asked to be Matron of Honor, there is also a Maid of Honor.  Please advise me as to the logistics in the processional/recessional order for the both of us
  MOH: Advice: Long Distance Maid of Honor
  MOH: Advice: Is there a kosher way of letting her down? if I agree to follow through, while letting her know my concerns both financially and time commitment wise, is there an etiquette in letting others (friends, family, bridal party, etc.) know that I will NOT be paying for everything
  MOH: Advice: What do you call a guy that stands in as your maid of honor?
  MOH: Advice: maid of honor and also another friend as the matron of honor. one standing on each side.
  MOH: Advice: my best friend is getting married and has asked me to be her maid of honor, what can I wear and what are all my duties?
  MOH: Advice: I am matron of honor, I would like to give a very nice speech instead of making no sense and embarrassing my self
  MOH: Advice: Do you have any suggestions on poems, verses, jokes, etc. that would help me start and end this speech? 
  MOH: Advice: I haven't told my maid of honor that I want her to be the maid of honor yet. I really want to give her a book on being a maid of honor and how I think she is so very special.
  MOH: Advice: Mother as matron of honor
  MOH: Advice: My cousin is getting married and I am her maid of honor. What exactly am I expected to do for the wedding
  MOH: Advice: We are having 3 bridesmaids and do not want to select one as a maid of honor. Is there such a role as personal attendant who could fulfill some of the maid of honor duties?

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