Children in the Wedding Q & A: Tips for Children participating in weddings


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Tips for  children participation

1. Ask the child in person. Run it by the parent/s first and get their permission. Unless it is impossible though, a child should be asked whether he or she wants to be in your wedding. Some don't enjoy the idea, while others will embrace it.

2. Spend some time with the child before the rehearsal and wedding. Not only can you explain the role and answer any questions the child has, but you make the child feel like he or she is actually participating in the wedding.

3. Keep the child up to date. This is especially true for older children. You can mention such things as plans for their attire, what kind of shoes they get to wear, accessories and so on. Many of these suggestions have the same goal. The child should feel as if he or she is a part of the wedding rather than a prop in the wedding.

4. Make sure the child is invited to the rehearsal. Make every effort to insure he or she attends the rehearsal. Rehearsals are even more important for children than adults. As the wedding draws nearer, the older ones worry about "screwing up", while the younger ones get increasingly nervous about their role. If this is their first wedding, it can be incredibly nerve-wracking for them. The rehearsal helps to allay their fears and gives you and opportunity to tell them they are doing a good job. Both will help with this.

5. If possible, be sure to invite the children to other festivities as well. This goes back to spending some time with them. Whether you go shopping for attire with them or invite them to a (if it's before bedtime or early) rehearsal dinner, they can further feel as if they are a part of the wedding.

6. Consider making or purchasing a gift to commemorate the wedding. My oldest daughter's favorite wedding items are her flower baskets. They help her to remember details of the weddings she has been a part of. She can tell you exactly how she tossed the petals from each basket, whose wedding the basket came from, how her attire matched and can show them off to her friends. Obviously, weddings can be important memories for children.

7. Seat the parent/s of the child in the front row. If you plan on having the child stand with you during the entire ceremony, this is a necessity. She or he may get restless or may tug on the bride's dress and ask, "Are we done yet?" (an actual example by the way). Having the parent nearby gives the child an option to sit down. If your ceremony will be long, have the child walk down the aisle, then immediately sit with their parent/s in the first row. Pre-teens and above are the only exception in this case. Children younger than that will usually become quite impatient with long ceremonies.

8. Consider having someone walk the child down the aisle. This can be a parent or a bridesmaid. This works especially well for younger children as walking down the aisle can seem scary for some of them.

9. Assign someone to help assure everything goes smoothly during the ceremony. You don't want the ring-bearer to wander off or the flower girl to start crying loudly right before the wedding march. Having someone who is willing to watch over the children (especially if they are younger) and entertain them can help minimize your chances of scenarios like this. Children like to be paid attention to, and even someone who reminds them of their duties will help. If possible, a parent of one (or more) child in the wedding can take on this role.

10. Have a "goodie bag" at the reception for the children in the wedding and those attending the wedding. This can be as simple as a coloring book and small box of crayons. This will give the kids something to do and will help in their behavior because they will occupied with the goodies.



Choosing Your Bridal Party Q & A: What you need to know

Its our step by step guide to wedding to wedding attendants.  No matter the question, we've got an example or answer for you

The following information is articles, questions, and answers that have been submitted by ForeverWed readers.  Should these not answer your questions. Feel free to ask an expert.

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, Getting to know one another
Choosing your bridal party
Can my bridesmaids wear black?
Dismissing a Bridesmaid or other attendant
Do we send invitations to the people in our wedding party?
Do you have a suggestion of a fun, inexpensive way to ask them to be in my
Down the aisle: Who walks with the bride?
Eight Tips for Drafting a Great Team!
Fun and unique ways to ask my friends to be by my side in my wedding
Gift Ideas for your wedding attendants
Is it a new tradition to have a maid of honor and matron of honor?
Is it appropriate to have my divorced dad & mom walk me down the isle
Is it tacky to have a MAID & MATRON of honor?
Is there a certain way your supposed to ask a person to be an attendant?
Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor
more than one maid of honor?
Not the Maid of Honor, can I help?
order of processional
what color ties should the guys wear?

When should I ask them to be my attendants? 

Best man: Best Man Responsibilities
Best man: Duties of the Best man and Maid of Honor
Best man: How to choose your best man
Best man: The Morning of duties..
Best man: You've Been Chosen to be the Best man, Now Live up to it!
Best man: wedding duties for the night before
Best man: Writing that wedding speech
Best man: Forum: How soon should we order the tuxedos
Best man: Speech: Examples:  We have over 40 speeches
Children: Including Your Children
Children: Should you include them?
Children: Roles For Children in Weddings
Children: Ten tips on children participation  in Weddings
Children: Deciding on clothing
Children: Gift Ideas for children in Weddings
Children: Make your children a part of the wedding
Children: Ring Ceremony for Baby
Children: Vows that include children
Children: Including a 2 year old in the vows and ceremony
Children: Including Babies in the Ceremony
Children: Ceremony to include children
Children: Child Attendants with sitter after ceremony?
Children: How to include step children in vows
Children: Kids In The Wedding Party….Will They Be In Yours?
Children: Child care will be provided during the ceremony
Children: Who buys the pillow?
Duties: 10 Things Your Ushers Should Know
Duties: Best man Responsibilities
Duties: Do you know your duties? Check this list for your duties!
Duties: For a 4 year old daughter
Duties: Is it proper to have a maid and a matron of honor?
Duties: It is traditional for the bride to treat her maids to a luncheon
Duties: Duties of the Bestman and Maid of Honor
Duties: Maid of Honor Duties
Duties: What are the grooms parents suppose to pay for?
Duties: What exactly does a personal attendant to do?
Maid of Honor : Being the Maid of Honor
  Maid of Honor: Ordering Dresses
  Maid of Honor: Planning the Wedding Shower
  Maid of Honor (MOH): Planning the Bachelorette Party
  MOH: Tending to the Bride on the Big Day
  MOH: Advice: Can I have a maid of honor and matron of honor?
  MOH: Advice: How much money should I expect to be spending on this?
  MOH: Advice: I have been asked to be Matron of Honor, there is also a Maid of Honor.  Please advise me as to the logistics in the processional/recessional order for the both of us
  MOH: Advice: Long Distance Maid of Honor
  MOH: Advice: Is there a kosher way of letting her down? if I agree to follow through, while letting her know my concerns both financially and time commitment wise, is there an etiquette in letting others (friends, family, bridal party, etc.) know that I will NOT be paying for everything
  MOH: Advice: What do you call a guy that stands in as your maid of honor?
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  MOH: Advice: my best friend is getting married and has asked me to be her maid of honor, what can I wear and what are all my duties?
  MOH: Advice: I am matron of honor, I would like to give a very nice speech instead of making no sense and embarrassing my self
  MOH: Advice: Do you have any suggestions on poems, verses, jokes, etc. that would help me start and end this speech? 
  MOH: Advice: I haven't told my maid of honor that I want her to be the maid of honor yet. I really want to give her a book on being a maid of honor and how I think she is so very special.
  MOH: Advice: Mother as matron of honor
  MOH: Advice: My cousin is getting married and I am her maid of honor. What exactly am I expected to do for the wedding
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