Bridal Showers: Q & A: Is it inappropriate for me to have a bridal shower


Q. MY MOTHER IN LAW TO BE FEELS IT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR ME TO HAVE A BRIDAL SHOWER BECAUSE HER SON AND I HAVE A CHILD ALREADY AND LIVE TOGETHER. IS SHE RIGHT?

 
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A. Your mother-in-law is partially right.  In years past, it was considered inappropriate for one who had a child or who lived with someone to have a large wedding or to have a shower.  Those were considered to be things for the first-time bride who is just starting her household, not for someone who has already accumulated things. Couples who were living together were expected to make a quiet trip to the justice of the peace to make things legal.  The bride was treated as if she were a second time bride, not a first time one.
 
Today, we are a bit more lax with things, but we still need to be tasteful. Whether it is appropriate for you to have a shower will depend on how long the two of you have lived together.  If you already have everything for your household, you could have a lingerie shower or something other than one at which you receive household items.  And it is perfectly fine to not have a shower.  You shouldn't be involved in initiating or planning a shower other than providing a list of names of people to invite.  It is up to your family and friends to volunteer to have one, or not have one. 
 
It sounds as though your mother-in-law disapproves of the idea of a big wedding because you have been living together.  It could be on religious grounds or it could be that she is very conscious of doing what she thinks is "proper."  If it is on religious grounds, then her views should be acknowledged.  If she is concerned about doing what is proper, she should realize that times are changing.  If you are planning a lavish wedding and are going all out, she may feel that you are overdoing it.

 

 

Bridal Showers Q & A: What you need to know

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The following information is articles, questions, and answers that have been submitted by ForeverWed readers.  Should these not answer your questions. Feel free to ask an expert
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Bridal Shower Boot Camp
Creative Wrapping for shower gifts
How to Plan Bridal Showers
How many to invite
information to include in invitations
mailing invitations & expecting RSVPs
Memorable Bridal Shower gifts
Responsible for Bridal Shower
Step by Step guide to throwing a bridal shower
What books to purchase for planning
What do invitations look like?
What books to purchase for planning
Where can it be held and what are the order of events?
Who should we invite, specific time it should be held?
Who should host a bridal shower
Advice: Who is mostly responsible for giving the shower?
Advice: Should I pay for the bridal shower?
Advice: Can Non Guests be invited?
Advice: Is there such a thing as a long-distance bridal shower?
Advice: My future M-I-L doesn't want to attend my bridal showers, Is it inappropriate
My cousin is hosting a bridal shower for our side of the family.  Is it necessary to invite the bride's mother and sisters?
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Advice: Can I ask MOH to step down ?
Advice: We have a child prior to marriage, can I still have a bridal shower?
Is it rude to invite a friend to the shower that is not invited to the wedding because of limited space?
Advice: What's the appropriate amount to give...
Advice: Is there anyway of having a shower "long-distance"? 
Advice: Do we only invite people who are invited to the wedding?  Or can we also invite the people who are only invited to the reception in our hometown?
Advice: Who is mostly responsible for giving the bridal shower?  The mother of the bride or the the bridesmaids?
Advice: What do I have to say?
Advice: Surprise Bridal Shower Planning
Ice Breaker Activities
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Games: Bridal Shower Games
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