The tea sounds like a lovely shower idea.
To answer your questions, if the hostess (the MOH) hasn't asked you for money,
then she doesn't expect you to contribute. You might ask her if she needs any
help, however, since showers can be quite a bit of work.
A registry can be used for both the shower and the wedding. Often, people give
the smaller items at the shower and the larger items at the wedding. Rather
than worrying about a theme, I would choose a gift from the registry or
something else that you know she needs.
There is no definite range on what you can or should spend for a gift. Rather,
it will depend on your budget. You might decide not to give a shower gift and
to give a nicer wedding gift, or you might give two gifts. Do whatever you can
afford to do.
Bridal Showers Q & A: What you need to know
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