The wedding season will soon be upon us. A time for love, music, flowers -- and full financial disclosure.

"You would never merge two companies together without an audit, right?" asks Ann B. Diamond, a New York financial adviser and author of the book "Fear of Finance" (HarperCollins).

With a new marriage, she says, "Here we are trying to merge two people together."

But in many cases, lovestruck couples approach the altar without full knowledge of each other's assets, debts and -- most important of all -- style of cash management. A candid discussion of money and financial goals should be on every prospective newlywed's to-do list.

"This is really serious stuff, right along with, `Are we going to have kids?'" says Ann Hoeppner, a certified financial planner with Blankinship & Foster in San Diego.

The early months of a marriage are an excellent time to make long-range plans, and also to capture the savings that usually result from combining two incomes and two households, says certified financial planner Kathryn A. Taylor.

"If you wait a year or two to plan," says Taylor, "you get used to living on that income."

Diamond suggests that newlyweds ask themselves: "Will we spend the money eating out because neither of us wants to cook? Or do we want to save $50 per week for a house down payment?"

Unfortunately, the wedding often starts a couple off on the wrong foot financially. They and their families can go deeply into debt trying to pay for a big ceremony.

Irene Freeman, president of Consumer Credit Counselors of San Diego and Imperial counties, says it is not only brides but also grooms who often feel driven by the notion that their wedding day is "my day in the sun" and must be lavish in every way.

She notes that in many popular movies the happy ending is a wedding.

"If you think of marriage as the beginning" instead of the ending, she says, "you're much better off."

Although many couples take a traditional approach to weddings, the old-fashioned husband-in-charge approach to money management is passé. Because divorce and widowhood are ever-present realities, women are more aware than ever that they need to be financially well-informed.

"A lot of young women watched their mothers go through some pretty harrowing experiences," Diamond says. "They want a partnership. They realize it's important not to delegate the finances to someone else."

Because newlywed couples today are slightly older than in previous generations, financially speaking, they might not start out with the proverbial "clean slate," says Taylor. One partner might have accrued high debts, while the other might already own a house or other assets.

She has known several couples who decided to keep separate all those assets each partner had acquired before marriage; the assets would not become community property. This arrangement sometimes requires a prenuptial agreement.

The experts offer the following advice to couples contemplating the altar:

*Learn how comfortable each partner is with the other's income, Freeman advises. If the woman earns more than the man, will that create discomfort for one or both? If one partner plans to relocate for educational or employment purposes, is the other prepared?

*Discuss your individual styles of saving and buying. The goal here isn't to agree on everything, but to keep the lines of communication open.

Diamond estimates that 90 percent of all couples fight over finances: "People's priorities are different. Their money styles are different."

Freeman adds: "You don't want to have one person always giving up or giving in. That's the partner who generally snaps. You don't want any repressed behavior later, like loading up on credit cards."

*Discuss money matters frequently. Even if one person pays the bills and handles most of the finances, both should talk about the state of the family finances at least once a month.

*When talking about these issues, communicate in a nonaccusatory way, says San Diego certified financial planner Jean Sinclair. Speak in terms of "I," not "you." Say, "I feel uncomfortable when we have no money in our checking account" rather than "You spend too much."

*Adjust withholding tax. If you both work, you are likely to pay higher taxes because of the marriage "penalty." In some cases, this can amount to thousands of dollars.

*Coordinate employee benefits. Some couples can save by eliminating duplicate coverage. It might be more economical for one spouse with a cafeteria benefits plan to drop health insurance in favor of disability insurance and become a dependent on the spouse's medical plan.

But be sure to consider the cost of adding a dependent. Seek help from company benefits departments in weighing the options.

*Consider setting up three bank accounts: yours, mine and ours. It has become increasingly popular for newly hitched husbands and wives to set up a joint household account while maintaining individual discretionary accounts.

Financial advisers say separate personal spending accounts can sharply reduce bickering over money.

"Most people need money they don't have to discuss with anyone," says Hoeppner.

As the marriage flourishes, the household account often gets larger and the separate accounts shrink.

*Discuss goals and dreams. While it can be good to have separate checking accounts, it's important to pool resources.

"For larger goals, like buying a house or saving for retirement, you need to have the same vision," says Sinclair.

*Consider tracking your finances on a computer software program. Diamond is helping promote the country's top-selling program, Quicken (retailing at about $40), as the ultimate in practical wedding gifts.

The idea might not be as offbeat as it sounds.

"I think it would be a great wedding present," says Sinclair, who has clients that "gave" an hour of her financial-consultation time to some newlywed friends.

Such money-tracking programs, says Sinclair, help couples plan by giving them real numbers rather than guesses on where their money goes. You might be surprised, for example, to learn that you spend $5,000 a year on clothes.

"It's not that you shouldn't spend the money," she says, "but its best if it's an informed decision."

Sinclair says she is scheduled to meet with an older couple who plan to marry soon. Among the issues to be discussed: He's hooked on Quicken and she prefers the competing program Money.

Best wishes and happy auditing.