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10 Ways

y Dr. David Stephens
Christian Marriage Therapist


Q: Dear Dr. Stephens, Two years ago I married a man that I have been knowing for about ten years. We laugh and talk together, we pray together, we go to church together, we even like the same kind of movies. However, it seems like my marriage is a fairy tale when I hear about some of the things that other young couples are going through. Some of my friends tell me to enjoy it while I can because my marriage will not always be so good. But I don't believe them. I believe a marriage can always be good if a couple is willing to work together. So that's what I plan to do. Can you offer me some suggestions for keeping my marriage strong so I don't end up in divorce court? Signed: Happily Married Woman

A: Dear "Happily Married Woman:" It was really refreshing to receive your letter. It's always good to hear from a person who is happily married. Especially when so many couples are throwing their marriages away at the first sign of conflict. And by the way, I love your attitude. Just like you wrote in your letter, marriage can be a rewarding experience if couples are willing to work together and keep the Lord first. Per your request, the following suggestions should help you keep your marriage on the right track.

1. Keep Communication Channels Open - Couples should always be willing to discuss the things that interest them, offend them, frighten them, and excite them. Just remember to always speak the truth in a manner that is loving and respectful.

2. Let Your Spouse Be Your Friend - Enjoy the time you spend together. Good friends stick together and look after each other when tough times occur.

3. Love Your Mate - If you are already good friends, loving your spouse should not be a hard task, especially if you let the Lord teach you how to love. I suggest you and your spouse sit down together and read 1st Corinthians 13th chapter to get a picture of true love.

4. Respect Your Spouse - Respect your spouse as a person and always treat him or her with dignity and honor.

5. Don't Keep a Record of Mistakes - Your spouse is human and will make mistakes sometimes, and so will you. So be willing to forgive him or her (Mk. 11:25-26 ).

6. Cultivate a Good Sex Life With Your Spouse - Never let your sex life diminish into a dull routine. Keep it interesting and fun. Take time to read the Song of Solomon in a version of the Bible that you can understand. You may be surprised at what you find.

7. Control Your Tongue - Compliment and affirm your spouse whenever possible. And be especially careful with your words when disagreements occur. No matter how angry you get, don't say things that you will regret later. Cruel jokes and insulting names are always a no, no!

8. Stay Out of Debt - If you get stressed out because of money problems, your marriage could fall apart in a very short time. So develop patience and wait to buy some of the material things you desire (James 1:4).

9. Always Make Time For Your Spouse - Never get so caught up in making money, working overtime, and attending social functions that you have no time left for your spouse. If you don't spend enough time with your spouse, eventually someone else will.

10. Always Pray - Because prayer creates intimacy, your best prayer partner should always be your spouse. So be willing to pray together when your family face challenges and setbacks. The Lord will help you make right decisions and overcome setbacks (Prov. 3:5-6).


Verses To Remember :
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Prov 3:5-6 KJV)
"And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." (Mark 11:25-26KJV)
"But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." (James 1:4 KJV